Reaching for bottles to drown out my sorrows,

Smoking like never before

Cold hearted mask and numbness

This is not me.

Dead eyes and emotionally bruised

Burning unpleasant memories with chemicals

What is happy?


Mean girls

Those bitches.

Judge you whether your good or bad,

Stab you with those daggered eyes and make you quiver with their nasty words.

I refuse to be a disciple of their democracy in canteen;

Rebel without a cause and unliked without a valid reason

I’ll lick my wounds and face the battle everyday because I am not your sheep;

I am a  fucking warrior.

Black & Grey.


The black abyss that is my mind is never ending;

It runs for miles, black with grey splotches;

No inhabitants,

Memories caught fire and spread till nothing was left.

My emotions supressed like a dormant volcano

The lava boiling and boiling, the eruption inevitable;

The noise of the clock ticking drones through my inner being

A game of chess against my mind and he’s winning.





Temptation by two,

You’ve got my eyes focused 

I’m ready to eat my prey

Tear you from limb to limb,

Capture your heart and soul,

Hang you on the wall with pride

My favourite catch; one to keep.

Daddy issues

Smirks and hand rolled cigarettes,
Lager is your only friend

Full of hatred and your stomach; a pool of toxins from the night before,

No heart and no responsibility,

Anyone who has ever cared, you pushed away with full force and angry words that cut vital wounds deep

A scornful drunken mess but yet I still seek your approval and self seek my way to oblivion

Emotional whiplash tremors and dances around my brain,

“You know I love you, kid”

No longer applicable. 


Coiled deep within, frustration

I see red, unable to speak without spitting flames at anyone who comes too close,

Volcanic ash flutters around my frown painted face,

The need for freedom of  my own mind,

I’m trapped, let me go.


Fading faces,

Welcome to the unknown,

Blurred vision,the colours melt in my eyes

Aquired tastes that burn deeper than me

Curiosity that runs miles without an end 

Tomorrow will be forgetful, let’s forget all consequences.

Flower bed

Hardly known to me, or the world. You gave me purpose, I was your vessel.  The short time you were present we shared everything you breathed my air. Then that day came. Everything I had come to accept was pointless you had vanished, no physical pain.  I once was that girl who didn’t believe in love and didn’t care, I had contradicted myself vastly. The monotony of everyday life began to make me drown in emotion, that utter disbelief mad me question my sanity. Everything was grey with sharp pain nettling itself deep within. Even though you are not here, you taught me that I am capable of more than I had ever thought.

You were my flower, you were beautiful and made me happy but unfortunately did not get to bloom.